for the first time ever I created a blog and didn't post it. huh...

today hasn't quite turned out like I planned... which is fine I guess.

Kim is coming over. We need to cheer each other up. Here goes nothing!

My dad died a year ago today. That's been hard.

My old roommate and great friend, Jaime is coming down from Kansas City to hang out with me tomorrow and saturday. I am more than thrilled. She is so awesome. She's one of those people you want to be like. haha... it's been, I think, 2 years since I've seen her. this is going to be great.

I want to go to the Oprah show. Actually, I'd rather go to the Ellen show. My best friend, Kelsi, has been to the Ellen show and she danced with her. sigh... I have such cool friends with cool stories.

I'm going to Greysen's and Landon's baseball games tonight. I'm so excited. theyre so freaking cute.

Emma makes me laugh so hard. Check out this picture.

New Nails and New Moon

I stayed up late last night reading New Moon-- the second book of the Twilight saga. I never thought the books would be this good. I really like it. I'm learning to not rag on something until you look closer into it. I'm currently eating my words.

I went to the casino last night with my mom and I didn't win anything. In fact, I lost $17. My mom's $17. I refuse to waste my money there. I never win. But I had a good time with my mom. She lost $20 so I don't feel as bad. We just made fun of ourselves the whole time. It was funny.

I took Emma to get a manicure and pedicure today for her first time. It was super fun. She wasn't for sure what to expect, but she handled herself well and had a great time. Then we turned on the music really loud in the car and danced to Black Eye Peas' Boom Boom Pow. And then Em and I realized we like pretty much all of the same music. She is so cool. Either that I'm not. For self-esteem reasons I'm going to say she's just really cool.

I built mud pies with Payton when I got home. Mud pies are always fun. Hey Shannon, I remember making mud pies with you and the twins when we were really young and you guys lived in your old white house. and then we would play in your huge closet. ha...

I'm staying in tonight to finish New Moon. I'm really excited. I'm such a nerd.

Payton is playing a game on my phone and just turned to me and said, "look how good my score was!!!!"

"Good job Paytie! That's awesome!!"

Her score was -240. She's awesome.

Late Night Tears and Gardening

My mom is driving me nuts. Don't get me wrong, I love her to death-- this isn't a love issue. It's more of a annoyance issue. When you live far away from your family, you forget how intense they are and you just remember the good things. ah well... I need to be thankful for her.

It's been fun though to go to Landon and Greysen's baseball games. They're so stinkin' cute.

omg. Ok. Last night Emma spent the night with her friend. Well, apparently, her friend fell asleep before she did and so Emma was left awake and alone and bored... and I think a little scared. So she called Nikki to come and get her. Nikki is one of those moms that is sympathetic with her child, but also kindly tells her to suck it up. I think they call that tough love. Anyway, well she had me talk to Emma(while Emma is bawling her sweet little face off) thinking I could calm her down and talk some sense into her. That was pretty much the saddest thing I have ever done. I started crying with her and saying, "You just tell me if you want me to come get you. I will come get you right now!" and the whole time Nik is just staring at me like "this is turning out like I thought it would.... you need to tell her everything is fine and she needs to just fall asleep and she'll be fine....."

I'm horrible at that stuff. I told Nikki to never do that to me again.

Nikki's husband, Brandon, works nights so since I've been home I usually hang out with Nikki late at night. Last night we gardened at 3 in the morning. It was funny. And really nice outside.

I decided I like humidity when its cool and windy outside. I should move to a northern coast.

I think I'm going to the casino tonight with my mom. Should be eventful. Going places in public with my mom always produces stories. I'll let ya know if I win big.

Home Sweet Home

I'm home. Expect consistant blog updates for the next 2 1/2 weeks since the internet is fully accessable. (this is where Kim has her victory dance)

I like to drive from Tucson to Tulsa. People think I'm crazy. I don't really care. It takes about 22 hours because there's always a 2 hour nap in there somehwere. That nap usually takes place righ when I cross the Texas/Oklahoma border. I feel silly stopping there because I'm only 4 hours from home... but if I don't I will die. My mom watched this thing on dateline or something about how driving while sleep deprived is just as bad as driving while drunk. Don't think I didn't hear that at least 4 times.

When I was rolling into town I talked on the phone with Emma for like the last 15 minutes as she waited for me in the front yard. It was adorable. Her face made me tear up when I turned on her street. She was waiting for me at the stop sign and ran beside my car while laughing into the phone.

Then I walked into the house and the boys were in their room playing so they didnt hear me walk in... so I was in the kitchen with Nik talking and the boys walked in to ask her something and they just stopped and stared at me for a split second then screamed and ran to hug me. It was super cute. Man, I've missed those kids.

Then Payton came over with my brother and she saw me, screamed and ran to me... but then saw Nikki on her run over to me and hugged her yelling "Aunt Nikki Aunt Nikki!!!!" and then stopped caring that I was in the room and she hasnt seen me in 5 months. haha..... oh little Payton.

Anyway, I'm home and it feels great. I can't wait to see my best friend.

Merging, Weddings and New Hair. Selah.

So I went to a meeting today with the leadership team I work with and the leadership team I will soon be joining. Our senior pastor at the church(CityEdge) I work for is leaving and heading back to work for a church in Coweta, OK. so, our church plant is merging with another church plant in town. Make sense? Are we still considered a church plant when we've existed for a year? anyway... CityEdge is merging with Epic so I officially work for Epic church... well, starting tomorrow.

I'm really excited about the change. I think its going to be very good for our church. I'm so pumped to work with Jake, the pastor of Epic. I think there's a lot of exciting possibilities for the future.

Speaking of the future, I'm coming to Oklahoma soon for a nice long visit. May 24 I will be leaving here and heading that way. And I will be there for about 2 and 1/2 weeks. It will be good. Ive really been missing my family lately.

I will see these silly faces in about two weeks..... I can't wait.

I'm typing on a computer that is missing its backspace key. It sucks.

I colored my hair... I'll post a photo.

I look silly here... but atleast you can kinda tell what it looks like.

here is a photo of me with one of my best friends, Kelsi. She is getting engaged soon. We're all excited. I need to start gettin' my run on. I gotta look good for a January wedding.

There's Been a Mistake-- I Burn With Passion

Today was a good day--- long--- but good. I was in a 6 hour meeting today with other church planters talking about the future of our churches and where God is directing us. The meeting was emotionally exhausting, but it was so awesome. The entire thing was just so Christ-centered. It is so encouraging to be in a room of people that are so broken over this city. 

I went hoping some questions would be answered and I left with even more questions. ah well... I should have known that would happen. I just want so bad for my life to honor God. Someone asked a question today. They said, "do you ever just want to move back home and go to school and be a normal college student?" and I thought, "no." I mean, the moving home stuff sounds pretty sweet, but I was not created to be a normal college student. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I was not created for that. I was just listening to some old school worship music and I was so broken by the song One Pure and Holy Passion. 

Give me one pure and holy passion

give me one magnificent obsession

give me one glorious ambition for my life- to know and follow hard after You

To know and follow hard after You

to grow as you disciple in the Truth

this world is empty, pale, and poor compared to knowing you, my Lord

Lead me on and I will run after You

This is so my heart right now. God will provide. I'm trusting and resting in Him. 

Concerts and Tattoos

I went to that Hawk Nelson, Jeremy Camp, MercyMe concert last night. It was really good. I felt bad because I'm not the biggest CCM fan... and I think a lot of Christian concerts are just corny and semi-ridiculous... but it was actually really good. And it got me thinking. I'm really glad God made musicians/artists. People complain about them all the time-- at least the circles that I'm in(which is weird because I'm surrounded by artists... so essentially they would be complaining about themselves....?)-- but I'm really thankful for them. They just have so much passion and it's cool to see them get so excited about the gospel. It just spreads like wildfire. I love it.

I got tattoos on my wrists the other day. It hurt waaaaaay more than I thought it would. I got "Grace" on my left wrist and "Truth" on my right. In Greek. I love them. My best friend helped me. When I got to the shop with my original tattoo idea, my tattoo artist basically told me not to get what I was wanting because it would look like crap in 10 years. I'm glad I listened to him. I'm really happy with these. As soon as they heal i will post photos. They're looking pretty funky right now. 

I'm sitting in a coffee shop right now and I'm sitting next to these ladies who are all in their 40s and they're working on a class project. older women are always such overachievers when they're in college. They're so intense. There are 5 of them at the table next to me. I came here to relax... pff... that didn't happen. 

I don't like being stressed. I'm a fairly chill, low intensity kind of gal. Not these days. There is so much going on around me and so many though process going through my brain. I don't like that. I'm in need of some good 'ol serenity. 

I'm so glad Christ is so peaceful. His yoke is easy. I love that. 

ok I have to go to Costco. I hate that store. Let's hope this is  a good experience.