Prayer

Deep breaths... deep breaths..... 

My life has been rather insane these days. I'm definitely taking it one day at a time. I told my best friend to "excuse my cynicism-- I wake up to a continual burden daily". 

I'm so dramatic.

I read this thing on my cousin, Alyson's, blog today. It really calmed my spirit. 

I am leading you, step by step, through your life. Hold My hand in trusting dependance, letting Me guide you through this day. Your future looks uncertain and feels flimsy-- even precarious. That is how it should be. Secret things belong to the Lord, and future things are secret things. When you try to figure out the future you are grasping at things that are Mine. This, like all forms of worry, are an act of rebellion-- doubting my promises to care for you.

Whenever you find yourself worrying about the future, repent and turn to Me. I will show you the next step forward, and the one after that, and the one after that. Relax and enjoy the journey in My Presence, trusting me to open up the way before you as you go.

I feel so needy in my prayer life these days. I know this is wrong-- but I often don't pray for myself because I feel it's selfish. But then God showed me that He wants to know the burdens of my heart and He wants to know the joys of my soul. So with that said, I've been very broken these days and I've just been pouring it out to God. And I feel so close to Him. It's really great. He reeeeally does calm the storm. He reeeeeally is all I need. 

I'm currently on the phone with BFF-Kim and we're both writing and not talking to one another. I love her. I love how vulnerable I can be with her and she doesn't even judge me.