Oh blogger... how I've missed you.
Life has been interesting lately. I've started school again. I love it. I think I've finally come to the age where I like school. It took me a while(and sometimes I hate that) but I'm glad it finally came.
I'm also on this journey of being healthy. It's difficult because you don't realize all the unhealthy patterns you've created in your life. (You being me in this situation). You don't realize you crave sweets until you take them away. You don't realize how often you eat fast food until you've decided not to eat it anymore. Shannon, I need some recommended reading on the vegetarian lifestyle. Thanks.
I'm going through a transitional time in my life right now. Transitioning the way I think and feel about some certain things. Transitioning relationships I have. Transitioning me literally. Usually transitions are difficult for me, but I'm having a hard time with some of these. Especially the relationships. I've been internalizing a lot lately. Being objective is sometimes hard for me. Sorry-- I know none of this is making sense.
My dreams are becoming more intense and I'm starting to wish they didn't take place anymore. I use to not feel that way. After my dad first passed away I liked the dreams because they were typically just past memories replaying as I slept. And, even though they were painful, I wanted to hold onto that piece of him. Now, the dreams have evolved into painful encounters where I'm screaming at him and/or him telling me to let him go. Stop trying to take care of him. I don't like. I wake up crying a lot. Is this normal? I think so. Until I talk to my mom about it and she buys me books on grieving and wants me to go to counseling. I'm all about counseling, I think every human should go to counseling.... but seriously? I don't know...
I have to go. It's freezing in this library and I can't stand it anymore. I think I'm going to go home and make soup. mmm....
3 comments:
sorry i'm useless. it'll get better during grad school.
I'm all for counseling too. I should take my own advice, but I think it would certainly help you. I think maybe your dreams are a form of grieving too though. In a way. Maybe. Maybe us Ramey babies have dream issues. Not to say we're having the same issue at all. But, you know.
Oh, and my initial vegetarian phase was brought on by Skinny Bitch which I think is an unhealthy mindset. I'm more into being healthy than skinny, and nicer than a bitchy.
Ever since Skinny Bitch I've only skimmed vegetarian books because they mostly say the same stuff I've read a hundred times. I'd just google beginning vegetarian and see what comes up. There may even be a good website as opposed to a book. Websites are easier, to me.
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