I'm a sucker for personality tests. I don't know why.... maybe I just like learning about myself. Anyway, here are my results. I thought this was interesting. :-)


Bailey is an optimistic individual. She is the type of person who loves exploring new places or things and a wide variety of experiences. She tends to display a natural charisma that draws others to her charm. Bailey is a very encouraging person; others are drawn to her because they find her inspirational.

A loyal friend, Bailey is patient and caring when attending to the needs of others. She is usually an even-paced individual who thrives in a peaceful, harmonious environment. She tends to be quite predictable, sticking with proven, reliable methods of dealing with situations rather than taking chances with a new, unproven approach.

Bailey will usually test ideas against proven standards in an effort to be inventive; and can be very creative as she identifies new solutions to problems. She is an original and creative thinker, but acts in a rational way to make sure desired results are achieved in an orderly manner; although she is not afraid to "break the mold" if that appears to be the key to a solution.

Bailey prefers to work through problems by analyzing things that worked in the past. She is willing to follow another person's lead if they display adequate ability and if Bailey has confidence in their ability. She is someone who is able to lead, if necessary; but usually prefers to wait and see if another person volunteers first.

Ok... So I Lied...

I said I would be updating this much more often, but as you can see its been 2 and 1/2 months with no update. So what has been going on these past 2 and 1/2 months? Well, I've been wedding planning like crazy. The pool table in our great room has slowly evolved into the "wedding table". It is currently covered with all things wedding including invitations, candles, lanterns, candy table jars, random decor.... its slightly chaotic. Also, I've learned that wedding planning is easy as pie when its someone else's wedding you're planning. But when its your own?? Everything has to be perfect. I've learned I'm incredibly indecisive when it comes to planning our wedding.

I'm taking summer classes full-time. Its been going pretty good actually. But I'm not going to lie, I'm looking forward for August 6th to roll around so I can be finished.

Michael is officially volunteering at United Blood Services as a donor recruiter and speaker. From his car accident(when he was 14) he received over 150 units of blood. That's enough blood for about 12 average adults. Therefor, he has quite the story that hopefully encourages others to donate blood. Anyway, hopefully his volunteerism will lead to a full-time job with the company. He's been speaking for the since he was 15 so hopefully he's built a good reputation with them and they'd like to hire him on.

I'm missing Oklahoma. But I will be there soon enough. I've got two wedding showers there in September and one here in Phoenix the week before. I'm excited. For the showers and to see Oklahoma. Hey who knows, maybe one day we'll move back. :-)

We're definitely working toward that goal. People have always said this and I use to think it was silly, but Oklahoma really is a great place to raise a family.

Well, its bedtime for me.

"In a nutshell"---- who came up with that anyway?

This has been a semi-rough week. I started working. Michael started vocational rehab. By the time we both get home, we're exhausted(I realize that this is what normal adults do daily... but I'm new to "real" adult living).

Anyway, I'm tired of smiling at people. And I hate doing laundry after hanging up clothes that people have thrown on the floor all day. And Michael's brain hurts from taking difficult tests all day. so we sit on the couch and watch 9 by design. Or basketball.

But then God gently reminds me that I am incredibly blessed. He has provided me a job that I don't have to bring home with me with decent pay. And my husband is blessed with an opportunity to go to a place that works on his strengths and weaknesses and will eventually place him in a job that will allow him to succeed and provide for our family. And he feels so empowered. I love hearing his stories about his day when he comes home and how well he's done all day. For so long he's always heard, "you're extremely intellegent, Michael, buuut those with brain injuries blah blah blah." It's so good for him to hear, "you're amazing at 'this'. and 'this' is where you will succeed."

I have a mad case of baby fever. It needs to go away quickly. and return in about a year or so. enough said.

I've allowed myself 1 home renovation project per month. It gets a little pricey and time consuming when you try to do it all at once. And it's better for me to get something accomplished before I move on to the next big thing. So this month I'm refinishing our coffee table and two end tables. The were previously spray painted black, but I'm making them white with an antique finish.
..................................
.........................
.............
......
.

I had no idea how difficult this would be. I've had to strip them down. sand. strip some more. sand some more. paint. then antique. It doesn't sound like that big of a deal, but man... there's so much detail to these tables and I have to get in all those nooks and crannies.... eek. But I know I will be sooo proud of them when I'm finished. I will post a before and after for sure.

I'm tired. Tomorrow is my day off so I will be spending it cleaning. The furniture guys are coming in the morning to repair a tear in our couch so off to bed I go.

I will be updating this much more often.

Fresh and Warm

This has been the best Spring ever.



Gardening.




Sun tea.




And marriage.


Pure bliss.

This has been the best month of my life. I feel like Will Ferrell in Elf when he screams, "I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!!" So, meet Michael.


He's everything I need and want. Silly, gentle, patient, kind, weird, hilarious, lovable. He loves the Lord. He makes me laugh harder than any person ever has. He affirms me. I'm completely myself around him-- and he still loves me! He sacrifices. He's humble. He hates to see people hurting. He's passionate. And I love him.

Things are moving quickly and I love it. This is all new to me. I trust him. And I trust the Lord.


So, I'm bringing him home next week to meet the family. I've never been so excited.

Check List= Completely Nonentertaining Post.

So I've got a cold. yuck. it's not the best timing seeing how I will be driving home super early Wednesday morning. Which means I will be home sometime in the middle of the night. My mom thinks I won't be home till Friday at some point... so I'll be quite the Christmas surprise!

This cold has thrown me off. I couldn't fall asleep last night so finally at 6 AM I took some benadryl and was obviously delirious from not sleeping because in my right mind I know that's a bad choice. So I slept until away most of the day. And apparently, now I'm blogging away the rest of it.

Seriously, I don't know why I'm on here.

clean room.
clean bathroom.
do laundry.
pack.
get Huck roadtrip ready.
make roadtrip CDs.
make christmas presents.
drop clothes off at the donation center.
oh and plan a wedding.


I'm excited to see my little nieces and nephews. I need a nap.

The weather is incredible. Straight up Portland weather today. Why don't I live there? One day.

The Drummer Boy is my least favorite Christmas song. Hands down. And then Feliz Navidad. And Feliz Navidad sung by Celine Dion? Hello. She's Canadian. It makes my ears bleed. But for some reason I still sing along... and then the lady sitting across the couch from me at a coffee shop looks at me like I'm crazy. Now it's Jingle Bells. But sung by dogs. Like they're barking Jingle Bells.

Get me out of here!

_________________________________________________________________________________

I'm finally home. drinking wine, baking cookies, watching Grey's Anatomy and looking up really awesome houses on Craigslist. Houses where? Tulsa. It's official. I'm moving back to Tulsa sometime around May. Maybe sooner. But definitely not later.

Here's the thing- I want to be a cool Aunt. Not the Aunt that comes home for the Holidays. And not the Aunt who sends you birthday money in a card. I want to be there-- for all things, good and bad. At least for a little bit. So, Homeward bound!How could you not be around to see this messy brownie face? See what I mean?

Speaking of homeward bound, I'll be home for Christmas by next Friday. Until then I've got finals, wedding planning, Christmas present making, and lots of haircuts to do!

yippee.

• My dog likes to sit as close as he possibly can to me and lay his head on my computer as I type. Cute, but invasive and somewhat handicapping.

See what I mean? Cute. Invasive. Handicapping.

• I've realized I'm a selfish friend. I don't like to share my friends with other people. This is obviously wrong. God is showing me some dark parts of my heart. I asked Him to so I'm glad He's following through. It's all a part of the refining process, I guess. Speaking of refining, I read through old blog posts from 3-4 years ago... man, oh man. It's crazy how much one changes over such a short time. But I'm so glad I did. so glad.

• I seemed so optimistic then. I feel much more realistic now. And sometimes reality is optimistic. Just not always. This probably isn't making sense to you and that's ok. I'm still processing all of this.

• It's crazy how one can be a product of another person. I guess that's what rabbis did/do. I just need to do a better job at choosing a rabbi. That sounds harsh and ungrateful. and I'm not. at all. again, still processing.

• I love the weather right now. The high is in the upper 60s all week. Winter has hit. SELAH.

• I miss sitting at the table with these faces.

I Really Can't Stay, Baby It's Cold Outside!

I'm sitting in my creative writing class and I'm suppose to be doing research, but since I've already done it I'm blogging.

I'm excited about Thanksgiving. Since I've lived in Tucson I've never been excited about this holiday. The first year was hard because it was my first Holiday away from my family. And my family actually loves each other so I like spending time with them. And the second year was my first holiday since my dad had died and that was, of course, hard. But this year I feel like I've settled down in Tucson and it finally feels like home. And although holidays will probably always be hard without my Dad here with me, I've come to terms with the fact that he isn't here anymore. So all that to say, I'm excited about Thanksgiving. I love cooking yummy food while listening to Christmas music and getting together with wonderful friends and drinking wine.

Anyway, I'm trying to think of creative, unorthodox thanksgiving recipes... so if you have any, share the wealth.

alright, class is over.

_______________________________________________________________

I'm watching Elf. This is probably my all-time favorite Christmas movie now. Probably. I'm not good at picking favorites.

My small group is having thanksgiving dinner tomorrow night and for some reason I got assigned stuffing. Anyone can make stuffing. Oh well. I'm actually kinda relieved. Nikki told me this recipe that has sage flavored sausage mixed with celery, onion and then the Stove Top stuffing. I don't know what it will taste like, but she says its pretty great.

today was my friend Steve's birthday and we threw a surprise party for him. I was the one who had to pretend we were doing something else and show up with him. He was so surprised. I don't think I've ever had a successful surprise party for anyone.

I really love my church.

I Made it Through the Wilderness

Last night I had a dream that the area behind my headboard and underneath my bed caught on fire. I put it out but not quiet in time. My walls got all black, my new bedding(which, sadly, only exists in my dreams...) was ruined and my dog burned his face. It was sad. And my dog talked to me(in English) in this dream. So weird. I'm pretty sure the fact that I've left my curling iron on for the past two day has caused the dream. Two nights ago I woke up in the middle of the night and my room reeked like burning plastic. I checked my curling iron and found a plastic bag melted all over it. sigh... I need to be more responsible or I'm going to burn my house down.





Kelsi is getting married in like 7 weeks. It's crunch time. The majority of my free time is consumed with this wedding. Which I'm ok with... it's just feeling a little insane. I love it though... it's been fun.

I think winter is finally going to hit here in Tucson. Last week-- highs in the mid 90s. This week-- low 70s. Heck ya!

God is teaching me a lot right now. I feel like I'm eating my words from about 6 months ago. That's good though. I want to be progressing and changing.

I miss photography. And I want to learn to make pottery. I've always said this... but I want to really do it.

I learned tons of self-defense moves last night. A friend of mine is a sheriff.... he's super intense and way cool. He's from Oklahoma(ya don't say) and we were instant buddies. He wants to taze me just so I know what it feels like. I think he's insane if he thinks I'll ever let him do that. Kelsi wants to. She's also an idiot. Between him and my friend who's a black belt, I'm going to acquire quite the skills.

What Was I Thinking?

I'm taking 2 and 1/2 online classes. My sociology class is half in class, half online. Hence the 1/2.
I think these online classes are going to be the death of me. But that's ok. I can do it.... right? Some psychology class I'm taking literally might kill me. I'm going to have to be so disciplined for that one. But I can do it.

OK. That was my rant. I'm finished.
Cookies are done. People are finished.
That's what my English-teaching mother told me growing up. So now I say it to myself every time I have to choose between finished or done.
I also sing that Gwen Stefani song every time I spell bananas.

I had a dream about my best friend Kelsi, who is getting married in January. I'm her maid of honor. I dreamed that I couldn't find the right shoes to match my dress. All I needed was black, peep toe, kitten-heals. And I couldn't fit my horse feet into any of them. So Grandma gave me shoes to wear(here we go). They were bright purple with sequins and yellow knitted flowers on them. Grandma loved them(of course she did). And I didn't tell Kelsi about them and just hoped she didn't notice as I walked down the aisle. But she did. And she never spoke to me again.

Then I had a dream Shannon(who's one year anniversary is the same date as my friend, kelsi's wedding) was redoing her ceremony on her anniversary. Which means I had two weddings simultaneously. But shannon wanted me to take the photos for her wedding. Which would never happen in real life because her brother is a phenomenal photographer. But, nevertheless, she did. She game me this camera and yelled at me and told me I "HAD TO TAKE ALL PICTURES WITH THIS CAMERA!" so, I was super nervous. Well, come to find out, the camera Shannon gave me had no film in it. So, none of her pictures showed up. Obviously. And then she never talked to me again.

So I have two brides that I love dearly who had their ceremonies on the same day who never want to talk to me again. It's a horrible feeling to wake up to.

I wonder what all that means? Maybe I just feel like there's a lot of pressure(self-inflicted) to make Kelsi's wedding perfect. And maybe, just maybe, I feel like I might let her down. Even though I know I wouldn't... I would just be letting myself down.

This is all so silly.

I now have to go sit in algebra for 4 hours. I'm less than thrilled.

Killer Monkies, Carl Marx and Disease Infested Birds

I had a super crazy dream yesterday. My roommate, Julia, got eaten by wild monkeys. It was so graphic. I don't think I've ever had a scary dream that graphic before. I want to stop thinking about it.

School is crazy. This is my final week for some of my classes and then I have a few new ones starting up the following week. I have a massive paper due in soc over Marxism. Extremely interesting... yet complicated. Marx is easier to understand when you've had a couple glasses of wine, that's for sure.

I start my classes this week to become a long term volunteer at Crisis Pregnancy Center. I get to sit and talk with women who are debating whether to keep their child or not. And women who recently had miscarriages. I'm really pumped about this. I do wish the classes would start the following week with finals and such this week... but it's ok. I'll manage.

I'm going to the ostrich farm this week with my new friend, Krystal. She's from Louisiana. Her southern personality is refreshing. The ostrich farm is the best $5 ever spent. Those things are vicious... yet extremely entertaining. At the farm, there's this bird room(I hate birds) where you go in there with a little container of nectar and you just hold it and all these birds swarm to you. It's disgusting. I always take people there when they come to visit me. Last time Taylor and Kacy were here I took them and they loved it. Taylor kinda freaked in the bird room, rightfully so, but Kacy loved it. But she's a huge animal person. ick.
The man that owns the ostrich farm is this huge redneck and he's from Oklahoma(shocker) and he went in the bird room with me. When I walked in there, I was immediately covered in birds so, by instinct, I buried my head in my chest. He starts pulling on my chin trying to pull my head up but I won't budge. So he yells at me, "Girl! what are ya gunna do when you got a reeeaaall problem?!" And I said, "This is a real problem!"

Hello. Covered in birds= problem.

So it goes without saying: the ostrich farm produces fantastic entertainment 100% of the time.

I need sleep. Good night.

Rip My Heart Out Why Don't You

My mind won't focus on school today. Which sucks because it really needs to. I have to write a paper on why I chose the life I have. And why I changed my major from Digital Media Productions(aka photography) to Pre-medicine. Thank you Veterans Administration. I have a bad attitude about this paper. I want to say, "I want to be a doctor because I saw the horrible health care you provided for my father and I don't think any person deserves to be treated like that." But that would be ugly. And I know me being a doctor isn't going to change that. And I won't be able to save everyone. There are going to be people I can't provide health care for because of all different reasons. So, realizing all of this, I will write a paper on all the other reasons why I want to be a doctor. I usually don't like telling people I'm studying pre-med because I have a long ways to go before I'm finished and I know that I'm not always the best at finishing things. But I can't focus on my negative qualities. That won't get me anywhere.

God is currently tearing up my soul while simultaneously rebuilding it. He's showing me my wickedness. But I realize I can't stay there long because if I do, I'm not living out the gospel. Because the gospel tells me He is made strong in my weakness. And the gospel tells me I am to live righteously for his pleasure not for the satisfaction of those around me or even to bring self-gratification. I really want to be more authentic. But I want my authentic self to be lovely. But to become lovelier I need to be more honest with myself about the dark parts of my soul. And I guess it's just difficult to do that at times.

I feel like the past few years I've spent focusing on community and loving people and loving God. Which are all beautiful things. But I've forgotten about discipleship and growing in knowledge and understanding of the Word. I'm very thirsty for that right now. And so is our church.

I also want to stop talking about the things that break my heart and start serving those people. So, I've signed up to volunteer at the children's hospital to sit and play with sick children. There are other things I'm going to do because Jesus tells me to serve the least of these.

Mmm Girl. You Shock Me Like an Electric Eel.

I really like the coffee shop atmosphere. I love doing my homework here. I'm at Coffee Xchange, which is the worst local place in town. You're probably wondering why I come here. Well it's definitely not for the coffee. I get an Arnold Palmer(half black tea, half lemonade) every time because their coffee is absolutely terrible. And, honestly, the atmosphere isn't exceptionally great either. And they play horrible music. haha... Why do I come here??? I guess it's because it's always packed with tons of college students. And this is the first time in my life where I actually enjoy being a college student. Not to mention they're open 24/7 which works great for me.

I am really excited about the future. Like really. If I wasn't concerned with random people reading this blog, I would tell you guys all about it. It's really hard for me to keep secrets. The people closest to me know this. If you tell me something random about yourself I will probably tell others because I think it's so incredible. Like I know this girl who doesn't have a belly button and for some reason I feel like everyone should know that about her. Thankfully she doesn't care if I tell. And my best friend. She likes to wear body glitter when she is feeling down and out. It helps her feel better about herself. I love that. Every bit of it. Sorry BFFAEAE. ;-)

Ok, I have a story. The other night my car broke down. I actually just ran out of gas when I was sitting in a parking lot with my car running. I was listening to LoveLine(that detail doesn't matter, I'm just trying to give you a visual). Anyway, I was parked with my car running and it all of a sudden just started shaking violently so, of course, I just shut it off really quick. I didn't know what was wrong. I tried to restart it like 6 or 7 times and it didn't start so I called my roommate to come get me. She laughs at me but of course she comes. We just live like 3 minutes down the street from where I was stranded so I think, "hmm.. it's a nice night out. I'll get out of my car and wait for her." So I swing open the door and BY THE GRACE OF GOD I look at the ground before I swing my feet out and there is a 2 ft long baby rattlesnake! I kid you not! And he was so ready to eat me. He had his head raised. I about flipped. I slammed my door shut and watched it out my window. I was completely freaked. And I hear you have to watch out for those baby snakes because they have more venom. sigh... I could have died.

So when Julia got there I had to climb out the passenger side because I was so freaked out. He sat there for a good 5 minutes(The entire time I was wondering what was taking her so long)just staring up at me hanging out of my window.

So since then I have been so paranoid with walking around outside. Since I've lived here I've only seen like 4 snakes... maybe... sigh. 

ok. I should go. This thing is getting long, I have a feeling. 

Why does it need to be 50 degrees inside?

Oh blogger... how I've missed you.

Life has been interesting lately. I've started school again. I love it. I think I've finally come to the age where I like school. It took me a while(and sometimes I hate that) but I'm glad it finally came.

I'm also on this journey of being healthy. It's difficult because you don't realize all the unhealthy patterns you've created in your life. (You being me in this situation). You don't realize you crave sweets until you take them away. You don't realize how often you eat fast food until you've decided not to eat it anymore. Shannon, I need some recommended reading on the vegetarian lifestyle. Thanks.

I'm going through a transitional time in my life right now. Transitioning the way I think and feel about some certain things. Transitioning relationships I have. Transitioning me literally. Usually transitions are difficult for me, but I'm having a hard time with some of these. Especially the relationships. I've been internalizing a lot lately. Being objective is sometimes hard for me. Sorry-- I know none of this is making sense.

My dreams are becoming more intense and I'm starting to wish they didn't take place anymore. I use to not feel that way. After my dad first passed away I liked the dreams because they were typically just past memories replaying as I slept. And, even though they were painful, I wanted to hold onto that piece of him. Now, the dreams have evolved into painful encounters where I'm screaming at him and/or him telling me to let him go. Stop trying to take care of him. I don't like. I wake up crying a lot. Is this normal? I think so. Until I talk to my mom about it and she buys me books on grieving and wants me to go to counseling. I'm all about counseling, I think every human should go to counseling.... but seriously? I don't know...

I have to go. It's freezing in this library and I can't stand it anymore. I think I'm going to go home and make soup. mmm....

Different Folks. Different Strokes.

I'm dog sitting again. different people. different dogs.
I should make a business card.

There's a lot up in the air right now... so I'm not for sure what to write about because a lot could change.

I watched Stranger Than Fiction tonight. I liked it a lot. Even though I didn't hear half of the movie because I was sitting next to two lovebirds who whispered sweet nothings to one another the entire time. mmm.. loooove it.

i've been sneezing non-stop for about 4 days. I keeping thinking this is going to end. I'm now thinking it will... just not anytime soon.

My dreams have been super weird and vivid lately. I love it. Most of the time they're just very entertaining. Sometimes sad, but usually entertaining. Even the sad ones I like. Like the ones about my dad. I wake up very sad. But it's crazy how precise they are.

I'm now watching the Devil Wears Prada. All I can think of is the Office episode wear Michael watches this movie and then he yells "STEAK!".

I'm tired. I have a very busy day tomorrow that consists of meetings and interviews. sigh... A little nervous, but everything should turn out great. Should.

Dreams, Hair, and Rommates

I'm watching Chelsea Lately-- I love that show. I use to hate it, but when you watch it with Kelsi it is super funny. Maybe she has corrupted me.

I've been having really vivid dreams about my dad lately. When he first passed away I had them all the time. But I haven't had any in a while... But it's been super weird. Two nights ago I dreamed that my dad and brother went camping and my brother let my dad wonder off and do his own thing and then no one could find him. We searched all through the woods to find him but never did. We came across his backpack and found all of his things, but no sign of my dad.

Then last night I dreamed that it was a year later and we still hadn't found my dad. We had a memorial service for him and everything because we just assumed he was attacked by a bear. But I was upstairs in my room and I heard my dad talking to my mom in the other room and it was weird because it really was his voice. And I ran to the other room and swung open the door and saw him standing there with a camo jacket on and I ran up to him and jumped on him and just hugged him yelling "why did you leave me?? why did you leave me??" and he said that he had to but he couldn't tell me why. and then I woke up. And it felt sooo real. But, of course, it wasn't. And I just starting sobbing. It was horrible.

Shannon-- since you often have bizzarre dreams, you should analyze it for me.

So I'm growing out my hair and it's getting pretty long... well, for me. it's a little past my collarbones. Hopefully I can grow it 6 more inches by Kelsi's wedding in January. We'll see. I'm not normally this patient when it comes to growing out my hair.

My roommate gets back tomorrow night. It will be good to see her. Huck will be excited.

ok I'm done.

Dogs, Movies and Mothers

I'm house/dog sitting again this weekend. It is dogfest 3000 at this house. Usually when I dog sit these dogs I'm able to leave Huck at home with Julia, but since she's currently on vacation, I've got all 3. It's pretty insane. And for some reason it's only really bad when it's time for me to sleep. I haven't slept much at all in the last few nights... but sleep seems to be optional in my life.

As inconvenient the whole dog thing is, I actually like staying at this house. My friends that live here are pretty big "movie people". They own many of my favorites. I watched Mona Lisa Smile tonight. I've never seen it before. I LOVED it. Kim knew I would. Oh and Kim, I looked for Notting Hill.... no luck. Shrug. Anyway, MLS is fantastic. I love the reminder that we were all created for greatness. And how all of humanity is connected in that way. There's more thoughts in my head, but I will leave it at that.

I want to thirst for more of Jesus and less of me. I want to be above reproach.

Oh and I also watched PS. I love you(Ive seen it once before... when it first came out last summer). crap. that movie. I bawled throughout the entire thing... entire thing. My head hurts now. Movies like that make me not want to fall in love because I'm scared of losing him. But what is that saying? It's better to have loved and to have lost, then to never have loved at all.....? is that right? sounds right.

I love my mom. I talked to her on the phone forever tonight. She loves me. And she loves to know that I'm taken care of. No matter how old your kids are, I don't think you ever grow out of that.

My best friend from childhood had a miscarriage two nights ago. She was pretty much told her chances of getting pregnant on her own are slim to none. Her and her husband have been trying for three years. She found out 7 weeks ago that she was pregnant. She had only been pregnant for a week when she found out. She just knew. This girl was made to be a mother. I called her when I found out from Taylor and I lost it on the phone. She was consoling me. So motherly. God has a plan for her. I know it. She will have a baby.

Baby fever, marraige, and Uganda.

I'm grumpy today. and very impatient.

I'm in a meeting right now. I absolutely love the people I work with. They make me happy.

My bad mood is actually gone now. We have a funny team.

I'm enrolling for classes today. I'm super excited. more than I know.

Man, I have baby fever like crazy. I am surrounded by adorable children. And I want kids. But the thought of having them right now(even if I were married and all that stuff) is so overwhelming. I wonder if I'll better be ready. Probably not.

My brother got married. Their pictures are cute. Their wedding was private and on some bridge somewhere. I tried to post a photo, but I'm super dumb with computers.

I'm trying to find a job... but aren't we all. I just got offered a job at chic-fil-a. the manager just came up to me and asked where I worked... haha... is that weird?

So, I'm going to Uganda next summer. I'm super excited. I will be working with a medical team. I'll fill you in more when I have more details.

I have to go. Julia is waiting on me.

Throw up, Home, and Magnified Pores.

So I'm sick. It's Sunday morning and I've been throwing up for a few hours. I'm really bummed. This is the first Sunday I've been in town and missed church. I feel bad for the band... they have to reorganize everything this morning now. boo.

We had a 4th of July party last night. It was basically just the staff and a few others from Epic. It was super fun. We played catch phrase and played girls against boys, which I usually hate doing because... it never fails... I'm always paired up with some ditsy girl who, when it's her turn, is always like, "ha! I don't know... umm... uh... I don't know... uhh...." and it drives me crazy because I'm incredibly competitive. I wish I wasn't so competitive. Anyway, we played girls verses boys and the girls totally dominated. ha... the guys were very much bothered by this... but it was a super fun time. I love my friends.

Someone that has lived here in Tucson as long as me made a comment the other day. it was something like, "ugh Tucson... I can't wait to get out of this hell hole." and I just shrugged. Which made him curious and led to a conversation about our lives here and I just said that Tucson may not, geographically, be my favorite place to live, but I like my life here. It's home to me now. It took a while, but it's home. I don't think I will be here for more than 5 years from now, but who knows. I do know that it will be sad when I leave. And has always bothered me that this friend of mine has never made Tucson home... especially since he supposedly moved here to love on this city and teach Tucson about Jesus... but I don't know. I think since the day he's been here he has always looked for the back door. shrug. I guess I would be miserable too if I felt like I was stuck in a place I hated.

I spent over an hour last night looking at my pores in one of those magnified mirrors like Grandma and my Mom had growing up. that is so addicting. I got this underground zit on my cheek, which is a weird place for me to get a zit, and I got that sucker out. oh man, it hurt so bad. And then I rubbed rubbing alcohol all over my face. I'm sure that's not good for my skin. But with that stupid mirror I just was totally grossed out by all the crap in my skin. I should get a facial. wait.... no I shouldn't. I did that once and that was the biggest mistake I've ever made.

sorry... that was a gross tangent.

I'm going to get back in bed. I feel bad.